We were invited to dinner at a good friend's house. I wore a chic vintage silk dress, my boyfriend a suit with a matching shirt and pocket square. We brought a bottle of Crémant; the other guests also wore dresses, shirts, or pretty T-shirts and trousers. My friend, the hostess, had put on makeup and a shiny skirt. She invited us to the table, where she had laid out appetizers, champagne glasses, and vases of flowers. We sat down, clinked glasses, and began to share our latest anecdotes, delighted to finally see each other again.
During the main course, my friend's husband also appeared – he was wearing his baggy pajamas and was unshaven. He explained that he wasn't feeling well; he felt like he had a cold. That's why he'd only come out of the bedroom briefly to eat; we shouldn't pay any more attention to him. He finished his plate and disappeared again. I asked my friend if he was depressed. No, she said, he's just someone who doesn't see the point in clinging to labels. He wants to feel comfortable at home, and his idea of comfort includes wearing comfortable clothes.
I wish he hadn't come out at all, I said
later to my boyfriend. The code you use when getting dressed up for a meeting with friends or for any other appointment is based on respect: By how I dress, I express my respect for the invitation and the inviters, just as my
Joy and gratitude. My friend's husband had expressed his disrespect toward her and her friends. The two are no longer together, by the way.
