Empathy vs. sympathy: simply explained – and made tangible
Sometimes just a glance is enough – and you sense what's going on in the other person. Sometimes not. Empathy is the bridge between us: it connects head and heart, curiosity and responsibility. Sympathy is close to this – yet something different. Let's unravel this, in a way that's understandable and relevant to everyday life.
Empathy: The ability to recognize and empathize with the perceptions, feelings, and perspectives of others (cognitive, emotional/affective).
Sympathy: A benevolent affection – “I like you” – that does not necessarily change your perspective.
Compassion: Empathy plus impulse to action: “I see you – and I want to be helpful.”
“Values and empathy are door openers – less for being right, more for perceiving, telling stories, and taking each other seriously.”
Empathy vs. Sympathy: the Difference
Sympathy empathizes, often from one's own perspective. Empathy shifts perspective: You try to understand from within. Sympathy can create closeness – empathy creates connection and orientation, even if you don't agree.
The 4 pillars of empathy
- Cognitive empathy: Understanding what the other person thinks and needs (change of perspective).
- Emotional/Affective Empathy: Resonance with the other person’s feelings (compassion, not merging).
- Self-regulation: Stay true to yourself, recognize your boundaries – empathy without being overwhelmed.
- Compassionate action: moving from recognition to action: asking, offering, being there.
Types of empathy – quickly explained
- Cognitive empathy: “I understand what you’re thinking.” Useful in conversations, negotiations, and leadership.
- Emotional/Affective Empathy: “I feel how you feel.” Connects – but requires good self-care.
- Compassionate empathy: “I take you seriously – what can help you now?” Combines emotion with responsibility.
- Cold empathy: Perspective-taking without compassion (e.g., manipulative). Be mindful, set values.
Exercise: SONDER – a view that broadens everything
"Sonder" describes the astonishment that every stranger leads a life as vibrant and complex as your own. This mini-practice opens doors:
"Pick a stranger in a café or on the train. Imagine their life: What do they dream about? What are they struggling with? What joy did they experience today?"
Want to delve deeper? This short video from the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows brings "Sonder" to life.
From knowledge to action: small rituals for big impact
- Echo instead of judgment: “I hear that you … and that … is important to you.” First reflect, then react.
- One more question: “What haven’t I asked yet that would help you?”
- Define boundaries: “I want to understand – and I need a break.” Empathy requires self-contact.
- Values check-in: Once a week: “Where did I show empathy today – where not?”
How the MfW embodies empathy
At the Museum of Values, we have been collaborating with The Art of Embodying Change GmbH for years. We combine embodied practices (how we experience the world), aesthetics (what touches us), narrative (your story), and relationality (the quality of our relationships). Don't just understand— embody .
Empathy in the team – examples
- Meeting start: One sentence to set the mood. No fixation, just space.
- Change of perspective: “If we were customers – what would our plan sound like?”
- Story mining: Share a short story weekly in which empathy helped.
"Empathy isn't just nicety. It's orientation in complex situations—and the basis for relationships on equal terms."
Your next step
Got the theory? The next step is to feel. Choose one of the exercises above and try it today. Notice what changes within you.
